Many of you think differently, but as we well know:
All moments of human life are ultimately defined by emotions, not thoughts, beliefs, or anything else… In the end, it doesn’t matter if I agree with your beliefs or if I respect your way of thinking. The only thing that really matters here for you, and determines your well-being, is “Do I understand your emotions at this moment?” “Have I hurt your feelings?” If I align with your emotions and understand you, I am a good person in your eyes, even if my beliefs and thoughts differ from or even oppose yours. But if I fully agree with all your beliefs and we follow the same line of thinking, yet I cannot understand and respond appropriately to your emotional needs in the moment, you will not consider me a good person. Therefore, the measure of my goodness or badness is determined by “my ability to understand your feelings and the response I give to them.” Thus, the importance you place on human emotions is significant. Consider these points:
- Low IQ
- Low Emotional Intelligence (EI)
- Lack of understanding
- Not learning the “art of understanding” in family and society
- Not practicing it
- And even not trying to learn it
Most of us, due to the reasons above, lack the ability to understand others’ emotions, and often this task is of very little importance to our nervous system. Even thinking about the consequences of our actions and their effects on others is unimportant or sometimes meaningless to us. Many of you still haven’t realized that your entire mission, your entire goal, your ultimate reason and purpose, is to create a good feeling in those around you. By giving hope… by supporting… by encouraging their abilities and good deeds… Even parents still haven’t realized that: “The duty of parenthood is not to punish and prevent our children from doing bad things; it is solely to encourage and support them and their good deeds.” And extend this from parents to all humans and those around us.
Often, people tell me, “You give too much importance to people’s feelings. Giving so much value and importance to every moment of emotions is excessive and over the top.”
In my previous post, I tried to explain semi-scientifically why…
But I want to elaborate further because, in my belief, all of you, even those who claim to be extremely kind and understanding, are still far behind in comprehending and understanding the emotions of those around you, even your beloved ones…
I hope you won’t take offense, but you still don’t grasp the importance of the feelings and moods of your close ones; you still don’t consider the impact of even your smallest actions and behaviors on them.
You say things you shouldn’t say.
You do things you shouldn’t do.
In situations where more attention is needed, you are caught up in your own thoughts and mental chaos.
In moments when you should be mindful of certain things, if you aren’t, these issues later manifest through shouting, arguments, and resentment. At those times, you are occupied with the least important personal matters.
Sometimes, with a touch, an encouraging sentence, a warm emotional word, a supportive gesture, a simple phone call, a brief message reply, a comment or a response under a picture or post, praise for a good deed you see someone do, effective support, spending 30 seconds on a person… you can make someone’s day. You can cultivate and nurture love and kindness within yourself, prevent the formation of grudges and seeds of revenge in those around you, make someone’s mood better for an hour, so they interact more lovingly with others during that time, completely change someone’s bad mood and irritation, leave a good memory of yourself, and with that good memory and the positive feeling you created, encourage that person to share their good opportunities and suggestions with you.
You can, with a good feedback for a good deed, with a positive sentence expressing your good mood, help improve and continue that person’s work.
Why do you hide these compliments and encouragements? Because of strange and bizarre insecurities, you keep your mouth shut when you see good work or behavior from someone and justify it with all kinds of sick excuses like:
“They don’t need my encouragement…”
“If I praise them, they’ll think I’m in love with them…”
“If I highlight their good work, their expectations will rise…”
“I won’t support them so they stay thirsty for my approval…”
…
Let me tell you, these actions and thoughts only reveal your sickness; any excuse you have still indicates your psychological deficiencies.
If you can’t express someone’s beauty to their face for fear they might get a big head, you are the one with inflated imaginations.
If you leave someone’s beautiful and commendable work unacknowledged with any excuse or justification, your mental state is severely troubled.
Our world… the people in our world… need to be reminded of their goodness, no matter how small, instead of constantly having their flaws rubbed in their faces. How much do you enjoy it when someone recognizes even the smallest beauty in you, whether it’s in your appearance, behavior, thoughts, or intentions, and expresses appreciation for it? How much does it hurt and annoy you when you are ignored, when instead of being thanked for your goodness, you are criticized and blamed? How much do you hate it when your messages and calls are not answered appropriately and kindly? Well, others are just like you… It doesn’t matter if they are boys or girls, men or women, children or adults… All people equally and universally desire attention and appreciation.
And any excuse you make to hold yourself back is due to your own psychological deficiencies and illnesses.
If you say, “This is Iran, people can’t handle it…”
If you say, “My past experiences have shown me not to do these things…”
If you say, “No, my experiences are different, my reasons are valid… No, I’ve been through unique situations…”
Whatever… Any excuse you bring up for not doing these good deeds ==> “((You’re sick… You’re not well… You have significant psychological deficiencies… Go get treated…))”